Housecat Gives Man The Bubonic Plague!

August 30th, 2012 by

No one likes to get sick. Nothing can ruin a day faster than a runny nose or a migraine. There’s one illness that’s worse than any other though, an illness so infamous that we use it as hyperbole when someone is sick. We are, of course, talking about the plague…and when we say the plague, we mean THE plague, aka the Black Death. You may have thought it wasn’t a problem in modern America, but let us here at McCluskey Chevrolet, your Chevy Dealership Cincinnati, share with you the terrifying truth.

Paul Gaylord, a 60-year-old man from Portland, Oregon, contracted the Black Death this month. The welders hands, toughened from years of heat and hard labor, have literally turned black. The doctors say they can save his life, but there’s not a lot they can do to save some extremities.

“I don’t think I can do my job,” Gaylord said. “I’m going to lose all my fingers on both hands. I don’t know about my thumbs. The toes – I might lose all them, too.”

Gaylord contracted the disease after prying a dead mouse from the jaws of his choking cat. You may be surprised to hear that Gaylord isn’t the only one either. An average of seven cases a year strike the US alone. We’d show you pictures of Paul’s hand, but they’re a little graphic.

Luckily for Paul, we aren’t in the dark ages. The plague is rarely fatal. In fact, he has been getting steadily better on a regimen of modern medicines and antibiotics. He’ll remained hospitalized until the end of the year, but he’s sure to have one heck of a sick note.

Posted in Perspective