April Fools News Is A Real Joke

What’s the worst news day of the year?  Some people will tell you that it’s around Christmas, when every media source is loaded with nothing but cloying reviews of what gifts are going to cause our fair citizens to trample each other in Walmart foyers.  Other people will tell you that it’s in the baking heat of deep summer, when reporters earnestly explain things like air conditioning and fans to an audience they must suspect is dying of heat stroke, stifling in quilts in front of their televisions.  Well, these groups are both wrong, but fear not.  We at your Used Chevy Dealer Dayton are here with the truth.  The worst news day of the year?  April First.

Woe be to the unsuspecting man woman or child who wakes up on April first and doesn’t know the date.  You hop on the internet as per usual and what do you find but reports of spaghetti trees or the Taco Liberty Bell, and those are just a couple examples out of dozens perpetrated each year by major media corporations.  It’s gotten to the point where you have to second guess every article you read.  Did that celebrity really die? Did Taco Bell really purchase a national treasure? Did scientists really (finally) find that eating nothing but cold cuts makes you more attractive to the opposite sex?  The uncertainty can drive a person mad.

These news outlets need to realize that it’s not funny or clever to put one over on the general public, it’s simply an annoyance.  They spend 364 days out of the year trying to convince the masses they are a trusted source for news, only to laugh when that same audience believes an article they put on their news site under the news heading.  That doesn’t make them cunning, it makes them a bunch of jerks.

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to take a quick trip to the deli.  You know…just in case.