Gunning For The Moonwalk

August 9th, 2012 by

During the course of human history, there have been some pretty good dances invented.  The Waltz, the Tango, and I think at one point everyone even liked the Charleston.  Even if we count some shameful dances (the Macarena, we’re looking at you) we’re in pretty good shape overall.  There is one dance move more powerful than any other though.  A dance move often heard of but rarely executed.  A dance move so bold, so original, that it drives men to a life of crime.  Ladies and gentlemen, let us here at your Cincinnati Used Equinox Dealer  tell you about this classic maneuver.

The move is, of course, the moonwalk.  There’s nothing quite like the magic it brings, the cries of the gathered crowd ringing out with “He’s going BACKWARDS!”  So really, it’s no surprise it’s in the news this week.

In Idaho, a man has been charged with assault after witnesses say he pulled a rifle on another man and forced him to do the moonwalk at gunpoint.  John Ernest Cross, age 30, was charged with the felony in 1st Disctrict Court on Tuesday the 24th.  Investigators are claiming Cross used a semiautomatic rifle during the incident but Cross himself claims it was simply a pellet gun.

You have to wonder about the motivation for this attack.  Was the victim a reputedly amazing moonwalker?  Maybe he’d been bragging about his Michael Jackson dance skill all night and then totally wouldn’t back up his talk with action.  If that’s the case, then isn’t Mr. Cross the victim while the dance-bragger is the vile aggressor?  The world may never know.

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